A Week!

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It pushes me hard to  believe that you aren't here too. I watch you hanging out with your love that has replaced me and my memories in you. I still insist myself that I gotta make a change in this matter of you moving on and leaving me in vain. I resist myself from the memories , laughter, smell of your perfume. Well, it feels like I cant hold it any longer than expected. So what if I lost myself? 

What profit did you make from my love that you had to leave it when it was a recess period?
Is this what it means " Memories fade". Did your scars fade away too.? 
Trust me, right at this  moment of me writing this piece of blog what you never gave a fuck for, I still listen to your humming tunes of songs that you prefer the most. "Thousand Years-Christina Perry" - was flushed with sweetness, tears , happiness, when you said " That song tells my feelings towards".
So what does it say now? Fuck Memories? 

I'm ending up somewhere I shouldn't belong. I have been pushed to that end 'cause of my love for you. 

When do you realize it's hard for me to love someone else rather than you? You cornered me with so much hope and trust and just nailed me to that moment and made me cling around all the time to your words. Loving you never mended my soul. It burnt me more than I expected. I still do question myself why did i even stand up to the things I never deserve. Something whispers right at the time and tells me "You love her, more than yourself".  

I said this to myself " What could be worse: Loosing her?   |  Getting yourself?" 
The answer was simple " You lost yourself already. So dont loose something that is half you which is your remains."


When I can hear you say that " I don't wanna do this anymore and stop hurting him".

May be it takes for me to realize that you are never gonna say that.


Do you remember this?




I declared you as my LIFE. So where is my life now? Gone.!



I control myself not to indulge in writing these, 'cause i know you wouldn't bother to read it.
But after all its my gut feeling asking me to write it out, may be someday you would turn up this side and read this.

Goodnight Sweets!

Signing off!

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