Life as we know it.

"You've made it so far. I know you’re hurting. I know it hurts. But I’m so proud of you. You’re beautiful. You’re strong. You’re worth it. Things are happening that you might not understand and it’s okay. It’s okay to cry, so let it out. You’re not perfect. You can’t be. But you can still thrive. Your heart is heavy and you feel weighed down. You feel like a burden. You feel like you’re not worthy of love or friendship. But you are. Everything is going to be okay. Don’t give up. I love you. You deserve life. Please don’t relapse." —Please read this again tomorrow.

"I know I’m loved. I know I have strong friendships. I know I have everything. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling alone. I feel alone, because I recover from happiness all too quickly. Even if I’ve just returned home from a party, the loneliness drops over me like nightfall, the change sudden and harsh. I feel alone, because social media has a way of tweaking my thoughts. Of convincing me that I’m not popular enough, because I don’t have enough likes. I feel alone, because I don’t leave the house more than necessary. I stay inside, because my anxiety has wrapped chains around me, tethering me to the place where I feel the safest. I feel alone, because I’ve convinced myself that no one else understands what I’m going through. That, if I revealed all of the things I’ve been suffering from, they would nod and smile in the moment, but go home and tell their roommates about what a mess I am. About how they feel sorry for me. Pity m...

"To be completely honest, sometimes life sucks. Sometimes we don’t know if we’ll make it through. Sometimes we don’t know where we’re headed or the ‘why’ behind our circumstances. Sometimes our hearts break. Sometimes we lose people we love and our worlds are left in pieces. Sometimes we feel helpless. Sometimes we’re scared. Sometimes we don’t want to open our eyes when we hear that alarm clock beep. But here’s the thing, today you did. Today you opened your eyes. Today you shrugged out of bed. Today you took a breath, you stepped, you nodded, you walked, you continued. And that’s truly admirable. And I know it was hard. Moving forward was damn hard. Being a human was damn hard. But you did it. You continued. And so, today, I only hope for one thing: I hope that you learn to laugh. I know your days are tough. I know sometimes you feel defeated, and you don’t want to believe in goodness, because goodness has failed yo...

"What I’m beginning to learn and sometimes struggle to accept is you can’t love someone enough to make them commit. One day is a nice idea. But one day doesn’t change waking up in a bed too big for one. One day is a false reality. One day is that game of make-believe we played when we were little. One day doesn’t give me the physical and emotional connection I need in another person. One day doesn’t give me your unwavering support. One day doesn’t give me someone to come home to and arms to hold me when I’ve had a rough afternoon. One day doesn’t give me a future. Because with “one day” — there is no us. All one day is, is a lie. A lie I wish I could believe from the bottom of my heart. But I know I can’t. I can’t keep waiting for one day to be today. I can’t keep hoping you’ll wake up and realize, I’ve always been the one. I can’t keep hoping you’ll just show up at my door a...

"Are you ever sorry?“ He asked. “For loving you?” She smiled and shook her head. “No. There are so many things to be sorry for, but loving you isn’t one of them.” For some reason, that answer made him even more restless. “What are the things you’re sorry about, then?” He asked after a while. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t quite right for you. That you weren’t quite right for me. That the timing wasn’t quite right for us. We were never lacking in love. It wasn’t ever a question of whether we loved each other enough or not, because if love could fill a whole room - ours would have needed more space. It would have burst out of the windows and banged open doors.” She stopped, and smiled such a sad smile it broke his heart all over again. “You know I loved you so much.” He whispered. She reached out to squeeze his hand and said, “I know, darling. I know. But even the greatest of loves cannot withstand the wars of this world. And no matter how much we loved each other, it wasn’t a war we were...

What if I could have made the wrong right, and set our love in the right direction. What if I showed all my scars to make these misunderstandings have meanings. What if I just let everything go, and come back to your arms? What if I never could've seen this far? What if I just picked up the pieces and never came back? What if it was meant for nothing at all? What if I was never meant for love? What if I wasn't the one for you? What if I just died with these hurtful memories of yours? In a perfect world, you still be here without all the "What If's".I just miss the way we keep wavering on our blabbering conversations. I miss you around my arms. On the edge of breaking dawn, I would carry you out to the inexperienced laughs.I thought that I could always count on you.But I just counted my scars upon me. This was a lesson to be learned. But not a memory to be washed off. I know you're never coming back. You're gone away. A part of me is g...

"I can’t say loving you was easy. I can’t say it was easy like it’s easy to miss the sun during the winter and it wasn’t easy like loving the way leaves turn color in the fall. Loving you was so hard – 
but nothing, nothing, could compare to losing you. When you left my life it felt like you branded every inch of my heart with a different memory and then blew it to pieces. It felt like I had pieces of my obliterated heart just floating through my blood stream, and randomly, for no reason at all, some memory would make its way to my head and play behind my eyes like a movie screen. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to make it stop. Those technicolor movie showings made my day when you left. Every single day.  The worst part - the absolute worst part of it all, though, was that if you had told me you wanted me back? If you had decided that suddenly my love was enough? Well. I would’ve dropped to my knees and stuck tape between my teeth and pieced every inch of my heart back toge...

““It didn’t work out”
I guess those are just sort of four words that make you feel numb even when they shouldn’t. They’re the way love ends and the way your heartache story begins. You’ll look back on it a few years from now. Your hair is a lot shorter now and you’ve stopped biting your nails and you run into someone who knew you back then. Back when you were seventeen and you were his. And they’ll ask how you are and how you’ve been and what happened? What happened. Because oh god you were so in love. The kind of love that you don’t think ever goes away, until it does. So you’ll play it all back in your head even though you haven’t thought about it in years and it’ll rush back and wash over you and you’ll take every “I love you” and every hard kiss and every intertwined finger and wrap it all up and press it between the letters of the words “it didn’t work out.”...

2017, Welcomes me with memories and regret of choosing the wrong one. Why does a human have to feel so empty knowing that it wasn't his wrongs that caused his own sadness? He hoping to find some love left in the past asked her "Is it okay if I text you?" She said, "I'm past behind that, I'm over it". You came like a new year resolution, under a starry sky. Love paralyzed, she's never gonna need me. In the morning I like to think that you still remember me. All the fights we had for a tee. I like to believe you’ve been dreaming of me. Listening to your message I’m keeping and never deleting. How do I move on from that never moves me apart? How can she just forget about all the intimacy we shared. The words come like flying arrows. Soon heart is gonna overflow.They push me back down, get up again. Circuits freeze and androids never dream. Am I more than a machine? This feels like a loop in my head. Going round the same circles, tra...